“Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” - Horace
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha
Most of us have been effected by anger either at familial, societal or individual level. Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions because of its complex layers. Anger can both empower us but also lead us to do destructive unthinkable acts. We have unfortunately been impacted as a nation by the increase in shootings leaving us to wonder if one of the main underlining causes that motivate these shooters is anger driven. While at the same time Mothers against Drunk Driving aka M.A.D.D. was founded by women who have lost their loved ones to drunk drivers thus showing the positive power anger can have to help promote well needed social change.
I am writing about anger because I have decided to focus on the intervention and prevention of domestic violence and intimate partner violence. I am making it my mission along with my colleague, Loretta Zerelli, LPC from Sunrise Professional Counseling, LLC, to be a part of a much needed movement to not only help those that have been the victims of anger, but also to treat and heal those who are the perpetrators. Through our own experience in our private practices, our collaborative efforts and the research we have conducted, we have discovered that those in need of anger management treatment are often underserved and also misunderstood. We have seen a gap in services especially in the area of helping to prevent and heal intimate partner violence (IPV) so that families can learn to thrive instead of fail and children can be saved by helping their parents.
This is not an easy undertaking as I mentioned earlier, because there can be many emotions that are masking anger. Many practitioners and therapists believe anger is a secondary emotion that is expressed instead of the primary emotion which may include fear, hurt, sadness, or frustration or a combination of any of these. Over the past few years, I have immersed myself in research trying to understood many questions such as: what causes anger?; when does anger cross the line into being unhealthy?; what are the different types of anger?; what are the best most effective methods to treat anger?; how can we help couples heal and improve their relationship when one or both partners has an anger problem?
As I discover the answer to these questions, I have been putting together an 8-10 week treatment group that is a compilation of what I believe to be the most up to date effective resources and material that address the complicated focus of helping people with anger issues. This course will be offered in 2020, when we launch our business called Luminations Healing Center, LLC. In the meantime, starting the week of September 16th, 2019, Loretta and I will be offering a Healing group or women who have been survivors of domestic violence. The details of this group can be found on the groups and contact page.
I hope that you will join us in this effort to focus on the area of healing and prevention of domestic violence!